I met a girl. We clicked in person.
A long walk, dinner, easy conversation.
Two, maybe three hours.
I was unusually expressive.
It stayed with me.

“And then?”

We moved to chat.
Slow replies. Gaps. Scattered messages.
Not cold, but no rhythm.
Nothing rude. Still, I felt irritated.

“Irritated by what?”

Hard to explain.
I don’t need constant texting.
Gaps are acceptable, even natural.
But each reply felt like effort without real momentum.

“Did she do anything wrong?”

No. That’s what confused me.
She was consistent, in her own way.
Asynchronous. Drop-in, drop-out.
It worked for her.

“So why the frustration?”

I was still putting in mental effort.
Reading into pauses.
Adjusting how much I shared.
Wondering whether to lean in or pull back.
The conversation stayed flat, but my attention didn’t.

“So what did you do?”

I deleted the chats.

“Why?”

To conclude.
To stop thinking.

“About what?”

About whether this was going somewhere.
About whether I was overreacting.
About what the delays meant.

“Did it work?”

Yes.
Until she texted, “Who’s ghosting now?”
I replied.
Over-explained.
Then apologized, for expecting.

“What was her stance?”

She replied when she could.
She wasn’t looking to date.
She was open to hanging out.

“And how did you take it?”

With relief.
From clarity.

“And then it got better?”

No.
It stayed the same.
Chats still felt draining, even platonically.

“Wasn’t that enough to step back?”

Yes.
Losing desire is reason enough.
No one always needs to be at fault.

“So why the guilt?”

Due to lack of a clean reason.
Nothing was “wrong enough”

“So what brought clarity?”

Realizing the problem wasn’t her behavior.
It was how much energy I was spending on something that wasn’t moving.

“Then why was it hard to act on?”

Because part of me wanted to leave room for doubt.

“About what?”

That things might get better.

“But the reality?”

Different.

“So why the inaction?”

Fear of closing something too early.

“What resolved it?”

Realizing I wasn’t judging her.
I was deciding for myself.

“Which was?”

To not invest in conversations that don’t compound.

“But the vibe?”

It was real.
It just didn’t carry forward.
The context changed and with it, the connection.

“So going ahead?”

I stay polite.
I don’t initiate or carry the momentum alone.
I reply when it feels natural.

“Lessons learned?”

Ambiguity drains me.
Clarity restores my integrity.

“And the confusion?”

Gone.