I’ve been feeling very low and unproductive lately, especially over the last few months. It’s been a struggle to focus on anything, and I’ve had little will or energy to get things done, unless it became absolutely necessary.

I don’t know if it’s because of repeatedly falling ill, injuries, career setbacks, the struggle to move on, lack of meaningful work, lack of short-term goals, or everything combined.

Maybe it’s a vicious cycle, lack of meaningful work leads to low energy, and low energy makes everything feel pointless.

Still, managing to gather enough energy to avoid delaying the year in review post any further. But it probably won’t be as thoughtful, deep, or well thought out as I would’ve hoped.

The year started with my first-ever breakup. But within a couple of weeks, I convinced myself that I had moved on. Looking back at my journal entries and blog posts, that was a failed conviction.

What have I really done this year, aside from crying about the breakup and trying to fit it into my life in the healthiest way possible?

But 2024 wasn’t all bad. I did make some progress. For the first time, I set goals and surprisingly achieved most of them. I had written a few goals down on an A4 sheet and stuck them to my wall.

In no particular order, they were: Cooking, NoFap, Meditation, Gym, People, 8 AM, Books.

1. Cooking

I’ve always wanted to learn to cook, seeing it as an essential survival skill. In my one room kitchen flat, I had everything to get started, except the will to start.

But I did. I learned to cook chapati, sabji, dal, rice, and khichdi in no time.

At one point, this was the only goal I was achieving daily. However, after a few months, I stopped cooking. My office routine meant I had breakfast and lunch there, and dinner became two milk packets. Still, I’m happy with the cooking skills I’ve gained, even if I don’t cook every day.

But hey, the goal was to learn to cook, not to cook daily!

Overall: 4/5 (Satisfied)

2. NoFap

Total disaster, except for a few weeks during my “red pill” awakening era.

Porn seems to offer the fulfillment of my emotional needs, the right kind of it. It presents a version of intimacy, giving the illusion of connection, affection, love, acceptance, and validation.

But the temporary satisfaction leaves me feeling more empty and disconnected. It’s a struggle I don’t know how to overcome, and frankly, I’m not sure it’ll change unless I have a true realization or a true companion in life.

Overall: 1/5 (Very Unsatisfied)

3. Meditation

Meditation has been a slow but steady journey. After years of wanting to get into it, I finally started meditating properly this year.

I’ve developed a real inclination to meditate now, and it’s become a part of my routine. In public spaces, I don’t hesitate to find a quiet, uncrowded spot and meditate for a while, without worrying about being observed.

The only problem is that hard flat surfaces make my legs go numb and start aching after about half an hour, and thats a struggle.

The best part is that I’ve noticed a real shift in my ability to automatically calm my mind. I can easily slip into a meditative state now, especially when listening to soulful, romantic, or contemplative music. It’s almost like the calm after an orgasm, with slow, frozen breathing and the ability to feel my heart beating.

I still don’t have a clear roadmap for meditation going forward, but it’s something I’m continuing to explore.

Overall: 4/5 (Satisfied)

4. Gym

The gym was easily the best part of 2024. I hit the top 1% percentile on the Cult app, maintained a max 34-week streak, burned 66,250 calories, and completed 263 classes of yoga and gym.

Thanks to my consistency during the months when I religiously followed the morning routine—waking up at 6 AM daily, joining a yoga class, followed by one and a half hours of gym, and finishing it up with half an hour of meditation—I saw significant benefits.

It boosted my confidence, improved my mood, and helped me automatically achieve my other goal of waking up early. Regular gym sessions gave me a good start to the day, leading to improved time management, a sense of progress, better discipline, improved self-image, and better health overall.

It set the tone for my day and gave me a huge boost in confidence, mood, and discipline. It also had a ripple effect on my other goals. I woke up earlier, felt more productive and literally built time and energy for everything else.

Gym is here to stay.

Overall: 5/5 (Very Satisfied)

5. 8 AM Wake-Up

Waking up early was another goal for the year. Scheduling a yoga class at 6 AM every day and the one day subscription penalty on the Cult app helped me a lot in waking up. But with the pause on the gym and yoga classes, waking up early also fell apart.

Still, this habit will be reinstated. it’s very helpful, and doing this morning routine gives me plenty of time after office.

As I mentioned earlier, the gym has become a central factor in my achieving other goals.

Overall: 3/5 (Somewhat Satisfied)

6. People

Meeting new people was another goal, but the process felt draining. I met a lot of people this year, but I still don’t feel like I’ve found the kind of deep, selfless connections I’m looking for.

In terms of friends, I made some new “friends,” but more in a helping/mentor role. It’s okay to add to others’ lives, but I still haven’t met anyone who truly adds to mine.

I met and interacted with many women, but none could match my expectations or have the maturity I was hoping for.

Still, Bangalore was great. Before leaving for Hyderabad, I met and bid farewell to around 10 or so people in individual meetups. I can confidently say I have many friends in Bangalore.

Overall: 3/5 (Somewhat Satisfied)

7. Books

Books were a huge part of my year. Thanks to the gym, I was able to listen to more books while working out. I dove into a lot of Osho’s teachings and even created and uploaded 50+ offline podcast player apps for each of his discourses. That felt like a productive project.

The books I read were mostly about intergender dynamics and relationships this year, and the growth in that area has been significant. When I look back at my old self, I realize how much I’ve changed. I surely won’t be the same boyfriend I was, and it’ll be interesting to see how it goes next time.

Overall: 5/5 (Very Satisfied)

Other Notable Things:

• Switched jobs and became part of the surcharge paying tax club.
• Went on a few trips and treks, falling more in love with solo traveling.
• Tried improving my appearance with earthen colored cargos and shirts.
• Failed at establishing a skincare routine, discontinued it, and made peace with acne causing whey protein. Muscles over acne.
• Restarted my Instagram, accepted 4 followers, and posted some content.
• Built the Nodal framework and learned a lot about scalable app architecture.

2025 Goals

Looking ahead, I want 2025 to be about outdoor exploration. During the last week of the year, I spent time in Hampi, and seeing couples in their late 20s with infants made me realize the limited opportunity for solo travel. These are the years of freedom, and I want to make the most of them while I can.

There’s also the ongoing challenge of wanting intimacy and love, but I hope to move past that this year so I can refocus on my bigger goals.

Some concrete goals for 2025 include:

• Meditating every day
• Finding and reading two books every month
• Publishing an app every two months
• Writing at least one blog post a month
• Doing 300+ gym sessions
• Going out every weekend
• Taking as many solo trips as possible
• Meeting new, interesting people with the guilty hope of finding a true companion
• Standardizing my food
• Standardizing my clothing and appearance
• Possibly finding a mentor or guru to guide me

Let’s see.

And one last thing, journal analysis

Number of days entries made in 2024: 324
Total words overall: 331453
Average words per day: 1023.00

Top 5 longest entries:
2024-09-03.md: 13843 words
2024-11-08.md: 9778 words
2024-11-05.md: 5906 words
2024-12-22.md: 5401 words
2024-10-13.md: 5024 words

Top 5 shortest entries:
2024-09-27.md: 15 words
2024-04-17.md: 14 words
2024-03-23.md: 11 words
2024-01-11 (conflict 2024-01-11-09-29-28).md: 10 words
2024-01-11.md: 3 words

Top 500 most occurring words:
i: 10018
to: 8899
the: 8444
and: 8396
of: 4031
a: 4017
in: 3845
but: 3520
it: 3366
that: 3148
not: 3071
for: 2993
you: 2982
her: 2927
is: 2872
me: 2820
with: 2525
was: 2390
this: 2337
my: 2248
so: 2195
like: 2179
she: 2137
or: 2073
on: 1886
just: 1834
be: 1767
as: 1668
all: 1650
if: 1599
have: 1584
what: 1418
its: 1389
omkar: 1299
t: 1195
even: 1174
then: 1166
good: 1138
from: 1124
are: 1047
about: 1041
pm: 1024
no: 1023
more: 1020
n: 1005
one: 999
at: 947
he: 945
they: 925
well: 923
some: 923
love: 893
can: 877
feel: 867
im: 867
how: 864
when: 853
had: 842
we: 834
don't: 829
now: 825
maybe: 804
your: 799
people: 793
time: 788
really: 784
want: 779
see: 764
do: 761
there: 754
said: 723
am: 710
think: 699
out: 695
i'm: 684
them: 678
by: 668
know: 661
much: 652
things: 648
will: 640
after: 616
dont: 604
him: 595
again: 573
still: 572
get: 567
someone: 560
back: 530
go: 529
life: 528
his: 518
need: 511
why: 508
something: 508
their: 506
didn't: 505
being: 504
up: 485
say: 485
very: 477
too: 472
should: 456
an: 456
day: 454
etc: 451
i'll: 446
thing: 446
has: 446
never: 442
who: 439
girl: 429
were: 425
anyways: 423
same: 419
person: 415
also: 415
which: 415
coz: 412
today: 410
better: 409
would: 408
yes: 407
thought: 401
any: 395
v(redacted)i: 392
nothing: 382
bad: 374
might: 364
feeling: 364
here: 364
ok: 360
other: 357
did: 355
make: 355
only: 353
a(redacted)a: 350
guy: 349
doesn't: 348
over: 347
right: 346
felt: 346
work: 345
i've: 344
because: 337
into: 337
own: 331
i'd: 331
first: 321
could: 319
myself: 315
come: 313
got: 310
such: 309
talk: 309
before: 309
shes: 308
nice: 306
take: 305
way: 300
happy: 298
women: 298
where: 287
going: 286
days: 284
enough: 281
thats: 278
feels: 277
2: 276
many: 276
0811: 275
call: 272
long: 272
saying: 269
find: 267
these: 263
let: 255
without: 253
another: 253
girls: 250
relationship: 249
been: 243
came: 242
it's: 241
care: 239
hai: 239
keep: 239
later: 236
best: 234
around: 234
always: 232
thinking: 230
mind: 229
made: 226
new: 225
look: 224
few: 223
sure: 222
our: 221
looking: 218
that's: 216
hard: 215
self: 214
expectations: 214
can't: 212
thoughts: 211
remember: 211
everything: 209
stuff: 209
gojek: 209
offer: 209
anything: 208
alone: 206
next: 206
last: 204
give: 203
bit: 201
emotional: 200
says: 200
fine: 199
least: 199
most: 194
deliveroo: 194
whatever: 193
while: 192
true: 191
home: 190
getting: 190
she's: 190
there's: 188
3: 187
put: 187
you're: 184
lets: 184
point: 184
through: 183
doing: 183
seems: 180
wanted: 180
us: 180
ask: 180
stay: 178
talking: 177
man: 176
pretty: 175
less: 174
feelings: 174
down: 174
hope: 173
sometimes: 173
seeing: 173
asked: 173
book: 173
went: 171
different: 170
able: 169
once: 169
reason: 168
mean: 168
lot: 167
coming: 167
else: 167
gonna: 166
already: 166
end: 165
wrong: 164
guess: 164
yesterday: 161
tell: 161
office: 160
yeah: 160
cant: 159
won't: 157
sleep: 157
trying: 156
move: 156
years: 156
looks: 155
nhi: 155
kind: 154
actually: 153
saw: 153
damn: 153
trust: 153
accept: 152
wasn't: 152
both: 152
meet: 150
times: 150
having: 150
wont: 149
makes: 147
jmirsmsa: 147
couldn't: 147
started: 147
experience: 147
sex: 147
those: 146
1: 145
future: 145
two: 145
comes: 145
each: 144
face: 144
help: 142
leave: 142
hes: 142
4: 141
done: 141
1310: 141
world: 139
small: 139
dunno: 139
money: 139
must: 138
become: 137
whats: 137
91: 137
hi: 137
place: 136
does: 135
sense: 135
try: 135
together: 134
others: 133
needs: 133
change: 133
friends: 132
relationships: 132
5: 131
interest: 131
ever: 130
everyone: 130
part: 130
moment: 129
big: 129
happened: 128
shouldn't: 127
didnt: 127
approach: 127
0508: 127
year: 126
between: 126
ki: 126
away: 126
happen: 126
loved: 126
problem: 126
deep: 126
growth: 126
start: 125
past: 123
10: 123
emotions: 123
asking: 123
although: 123
adyen: 123
used: 122
though: 121
fuck: 121
situation: 120
they're: 120
banglore: 120
2311: 120
told: 119
sad: 118
meditation: 118
partner: 118
movie: 118
1812: 118
fear: 117
great: 117
took: 117
hurt: 116
issues: 116
seen: 116
friend: 116
open: 115
she'll: 115
wanting: 115
gym: 114
left: 114
whole: 114
it'll: 113
yourself: 113
process: 112
body: 111
strong: 111
question: 111
little: 111
lonely: 111
giving: 111
anyone: 111
side: 111
may: 110
since: 110
efforts: 109
off: 109
making: 109
oh: 109
term: 109
dude: 109
live: 108
clear: 108
yet: 108
towards: 108
he's: 108
control: 107
gotta: 106
act: 106
lol: 106
fun: 106
yatra: 106
company: 105
2022023: 105
called: 104
use: 104
0411: 104
god: 103
pain: 102
words: 102
normal: 102
maska: 101
taking: 101
goes: 101
tomorrow: 101
desire: 101
miss: 100
months: 100
understand: 98
every: 98
chat: 98
game: 97
goal: 97
believe: 97
youre: 97
far: 96
almost: 96
group: 96
night: 95
matter: 95
wanna: 95
team: 95
pn: 94
neither: 94
working: 93
questions: 93
lack: 93
jagritiyatra: 92
listening: 91
guys: 91
ive: 90
sitting: 89
sorry: 89
met: 89
wants: 89
hmm: 88
interested: 88
red: 88
reasons: 88
message: 87
mins: 87
share: 86
knowing: 86
focus: 86
dream: 86
phone: 85
living: 85
free: 85
family: 85
under: 85
high: 85
post: 85
honest: 84
important: 84
soon: 84
read: 84
show: 84
confidence: 84
male: 84
name: 83
physical: 83
knew: 83
found: 83
marriage: 83
men: 83
sent: 83
happiness: 82
itself: 82
second: 82
guilt: 82
hours: 82
plan: 81
level: 81
behind: 81
understanding: 81
noone: 80
ones: 80
despite: 80

What gpt says

Insights from Journal Analysis:

Consistency: Entries were made on 89% of the days in 2024, showing strong dedication to journaling.

Themes & Recurring Words:

1. Focus on Self: Words like "I" (10,018 occurrences) and "me" (2,822) dominate, reflecting introspection or self-analysis.


2. Interpersonal Relationships: Frequent use of "her" (2,927), "she" (2,137), and specific names (e.g., "V(redacted)i," "A(redacted)a") suggests relationships as key topics.


3. Emotions: Words like "feel" (867), "emotional" (200), and "love" (893) highlight an ongoing exploration of emotions.


4. Career & Identity: Mentions of "Gojek," "Deliveroo," and professional terms (e.g., "offer," "work") point to career as a recurring theme.


5. Philosophical Inquiry: Words like "why" (508), "reason" (168), and "self" (214) suggest reflective and analytical tendencies.



Emotional Indicators:

1. High Emotional Stability: Frequent mentions of "good" (1,138) and "hope" (173) contrast with "bad" (374) and "sad" (118), showing a generally optimistic perspective.


2. Introspective Growth: Words like "growth" (126), "trust" (153), and "change" (133) indicate a focus on personal development.